There are many contenders for the title of Greatest Invention in the World. Some would say the automobile, some the telephone. Sliced bread is a popular example, and of course some traditionalists would say Fire. But no. I believe that the greatest invention humanity has ever seen is...... the SPORK!

And here it is in all it's glory! The spork, an inspired fusion of a spoon and a fork. Quite possibly the most useless eating utensil in the western world!! The bowl is far, far too shallow for eating the most gloopy of soups.... and those ridiculous prongs couldn't puncture the flimsiest sausage. However, the spork has often been described as a metaphor for humanity. The spork tries valiantly to be many things, and as a result fails at both. Poignant, don't u think?

The official definition of a Spork:

Spork:
Blend of sp(oon sb. + f)ork sb. A proprietary name for a piece of cutlery combining the features of a spoon, fork, (and sometimes, knife). `Spork' is the colloquial term for `Runcible Spoon'

Well, there you go. You see, you understand so much better now, don't you!

The inventor of Sporks must've been a reclusive genius. So reclusive, in fact, that I can't seem to find out who he actually was! He's probably hiding his identity to escape the daily deluge of fan-mail which im sure he must recieve every day. I mean, the spork has revolutionised our lives, really. Can you imagine life without sporks? I personally believe that the world would be embroiled in World War 3 by now, without the stabilising and calming effect of sporks. I don't think im exagerrating, do you?

Ive been doing a lot of investigation into sporks (My god, my life is so action-packed) and has discovered a very interesting point. Sporks, the versatile and yet useless eating utensil, is always made in tacky, flimsy plastic. Now..... why, oh WHY, do they not make a metal spork? A metal spork would be far more effective as an food-moving-to-mouth implement, while retaining the simple beauty of a spork. So why? There does not appear to be an answer. Maybe the evil "Tacky White Plastic.inc" have seized all the rights to sporks, in a vile attempt to sully their name oand make people hate them. In fact, I think we ought to liberate the spork from this horror! Join me in the campaign for a metal spork!! Maybe one day they will make sporks from solid gold...... and that day will bring a tear to my eye.... *sniff*

There is so much out there devoted to sporks, I decided that I couldn't be bothered to shamelessly rip off all of their great work, and instead have decided to share it with all of you! Aren't I kind? I reckon I should get a medal or something..... er.... moving on, check out these great sites on sporks!