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In the summer of 2001, Me, Adam, Chris, Rich, Daniel, Adam, and David all went to stay in Ian's villa in the south of France. And it was MENTAL! we all stayed for different lengths of time, I clocked up the most with an incredible 3 weeks with Ian. I dunno why im still sane! Most of the time we just messed about in the villa, drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol and swimming lots. But we did some other stuff too, mainly going into Nice (bloody hell, they have some FINE ladies!) and camping up a mountain one night.

One of the most memorable nights of the holiday was when we hiked up the mountain outside Ian's villa and camped there the night. It was quite, quite insane! We decided to make a barbeque, despite it kinda being illegal. That plan was almost scuppered right at the start, when some guy on a horse saw me carrying a metal BBQ grill!! Ian had to quickly say "no, no we are just... um... having a picnic"

Because of this unfortunate incident, we waited till really late before starting our fire. And what a fire it was! I think Ian may have overdone it with the firelighters.... It was bloody huge! Still, it worked well enough. Hmmmmm..... Grilled Marshmallows.....

However, most of the time was simply spent getting as wasted as we possibly possibly could! We ran a small competition as to who could get most wasted every night. I won 3 times, which im pretty pleased with! And im even MORE pleased with the fact that I wasnt even sick.... unlike a lot of people there (Adam, Daniel, Richard... have I missed anyone?) However, in retrospect, mixing my vodka & Orange with that mank red wine was probably a mistake.... as I learnt the next morning!

This is Adam winning the "most drunk" award! He decided pouring water all over his crotch was an intensely funny thing to do! Shame I didnt get any pics of him being literally unable to stand up because he was laughing so much, cos that was hilarious!

Adam, David and Ian..... Well, to be honest I think this picture speaks for itself! Suffice to say.... alcohol was involved.... and they were trying to be funny!

This dog...... this dog became the most hated thing in France! It was a bizarre little electronic toy, that, once activated, WOULD NOT STOP BARKING! It could even sing the French National Anthem if you hit it enough. Two of the rooms that we were staying in had a gap between them, and once the dog was used as an evil weapon, by activating it and sliding it across to the other room, where Chris was tryna sleep. We heard this "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo" And then an extreme amount of bashing! Rich had to go and rescue it before it was destroyed! Im surprised it was still working by the end of the holiday, actually. Considering David locked it in the freezer for a bit, and we chucked it down the stairs countless times, its quite a tough little bastard!

I won the "most drunk" prize up the mountain.... which was probably a bad thing, as we had a, um, incident with the now infamous minging sausage! A sausage was dropped into the fire and left there for roughly half an hour. I was quite hungry..... um.... I decided it would be a simply marvellous idea to fish out the minging sausage with some skewers, and eat it!

And here it is, the Minging Sausage! Its a beauty, isnt it? All that black stuff is charcoal, burnt wood and other crap (Chris later told me that that stuff is carcinogenic... im not too happy about that, but hey, I was drunk) What u cant see here is the epic quest that was required to rescue the sausage! Two skewers, and a total lack of ability to feel heat was required.... not to mention the great theme tune! But we got it out in the end.... unfortunately.

And here I am, eating it! I was SO drunk up the mountain... I thinkit mustve been the higher altitude. At one point someone (I think it was Adam) sent me off down the side of the mountain looking for Jurassic Park 3! However, they quickly realised I actually WOULD walk off the side in search of it, so David had to come and rescue me. Hehehehe!

Yes, we ate a lot of pizza! Well.... except for poor little me, who doesn't like the stuff. I had to make do with whatever I could get. I ate a lot of bread! Oh... and salmon, and chicken, and meat. I didnt do TOO badly for myself! However, it did mean my meal was prepared separately from everyone elses. I didnt mind, it meant I was guarranteed a decent share!